On Stress and Worry

If my degree had any units based around studying worry and stress, or anything along those lines I would be a high distinction student, totally averaging around 80-90% (after all experience is the best teacher right? I wouldn’t even have to attend classes!) It’s amazing how often my thoughts can be consumed with stressful thoughts and worries; worries about Uni and Uni work, worries about work and figuring out how to balance it with Uni, worries about my family and friends, worries about money, worries about my car (which has a tendency to break down at the most inconvenient times, such as last night) and yeah…just worries about all aspects of life in general.

At some point in the last few weeks I have realised that too often those thoughts, worries and stress were stopping me from doing things that I would really love to do (like moving away, which I did anyway but that’s another story,) and that it might actually be possible to build a life free from an insane amount of worries and stress. I realised that I was lying awake at night worrying about things completely out of my control… worrying years into the future (what will I do when I graduate Uni? Where will I live? Where will I work?), worrying about members of my family (should I have moved away? How’s my brother coping at school? What if something happens to mum or dad and I’m hours away?), worrying about money (What if something happens at work and they decide to fire all the night fillers? How will I pay my rent? What if something goes horribly wrong with my car?)…you can see the picture.

So here I am spending hours lying awake at night; or even sometimes during the day, needing to figure out a way to just try and calm down some of these thoughts. I needed to accept the fact that if something does happen it will not be the end of the world, and most importantly…I had to figure out a way to get some proper sleep!  

And so my post for today is looking at some of the strategies I have learnt (and am still learning) to try and put some of these thoughts aside.

1.       Tell someone! I have been very blessed in the last few weeks by some wonderful friends (old and new) and family who have patiently listened to some of these concerns I have, pointed out the ones that are out of my control and reassured me that I have people in my corner who will help if  anything does ever go wrong. I encourage you all to realise that it’s okay to sometimes be vulnerable and ask for some help and support if you need it, it’s amazing to see what can happen.

2.       Write them down: This is one that is a bit harder for me but I know it does help for some people. Write your thoughts down, especially if they’re harassing you late at night when you’re trying to sleep. Write them down and tell yourself you’ll think about it tomorrow, or that you’ll think about it with someone else who can provide some perspective. As you write them down ask yourself as well if it’s something that seems reasonable to be worrying about, or if it’s something that might never happen, or is out of your control. Sometimes having them written down on paper can allow you to think about them in a different way.

3.       Take time out: Give yourself time to do things you enjoy, something that will keep you happy and occupied long enough that you’ll get a break from the worry and stress. Read a good book, watch a movie, go to the beach, listen to music, exercise…anything that will allow for some ‘me time’ and a chance to relax. Learn to be okay with having this time too, I know when I try to have this time I can feel so guilty thinking about everything else I need to do. Realise that you have earned this time and deserve it, and that it is in fact necessary to have breaks if you are going to continue being busy and productive.

4.     Take your worries to God: Since moving to Bunbury I have settled into a lovely church where I receive lots of encouragement to grow in my relationship with God and as a result of this I am beginning to learn how much God really does love and care for me and that I can bring my worries and concerns to him, in fact he wants me to do that, and you too! The Bible tells us:

·         “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:25-27 NIV

·         Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:6-7 NIV

These are just a few of the ideas that are working for me at the moment. If it’s something you’re interested in or if you can relate to some of what I have written today there are many helpful websites with more ideas such as headspace, beyond blue, reach-out and the black dog institute, or you can simply do a Google search on reducing the stress and worry in your life. Find something that works for you and try it out for a few days to see if it helps and realise that you can do something about it, it’s not something you have to live with.

I hope that helps,

Dannielle

N.B. I just feel the need to point out that some stress and worry is okay and helpful. Sometimes I need a bit of stress to help me do a good job and work hard on my assignments and Uni work, and a bit of worry about money and my time is good to help keep me accountable to my budget and time planner to make sure I am getting everything done and not getting into any debt. The point I am trying to make is don’t let it get out of control and to the point where it interferes with daily life and sleep.